Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
Charleston A.M.E Church Shootings and other transformative events
So last week on June 17,2015 at 8 p.m. a very horrible young man shot 9 beautiful, outstanding members of our community at Emanuel AME Church in downtown Charleston.
According to witnesses, the suspect stood up and said he was there "to shoot black people." A survivor told other media outlets that the shooter said, "You rape our women and you're taking over our country. And you have to go."
The suspect killed six women and three men. Among them was Sharonda Singleton, a teacher and track coach at GCHS. Her son, Chris, played baseball for GCHS and now for CSU.
According to witnesses, the suspect stood up and said he was there "to shoot black people." A survivor told other media outlets that the shooter said, "You rape our women and you're taking over our country. And you have to go."
The suspect killed six women and three men. Among them was Sharonda Singleton, a teacher and track coach at GCHS. Her son, Chris, played baseball for GCHS and now for CSU.
At first, Charleston rallied together but now folks from outside our city are trying their best to tear us apart.
We were on vacation in Maggie Valley. I just started crying when I saw the news online. This tragedy happened only months after an unarmed black man was shot by a white cop in North Charleston. Then some sick dude duct taped a dog's mouth shut. Then this. And eight years ago, 9 firefighters died in Charleston on June 16.
I've taken so many things for granted in my life. I never thought evil like this would happen here. I've also stopped going to church. All of this has made me realized that I need to get going with my life and stop trying to please others. I will never please them, especially my Dad and Mom. I've got to do what I need to do.
I've got to get stronger emotionally, physically, and mentally. I want to be as healthy as possible until I drop dead. I don't want to be confined to a chair, unable to climb stairs, with nothing better to do but complain.
To get stronger physically: I've been going to boot camp and I did water aerobics last night which I really liked. I'm going to try to cook healthier meals and only buy healthy food for the house. If Joey or the kids want something else, they will need to get it.
To get stronger emotionally: I will try to pray about my decisions and ask God for his will. Even if I don't know the answer, I will trust that he is guiding me on the right path. I will no longer get mad at Him and curse Him. That's not what God is. He's not a genie, he is my Savior. And he has made me to do His will.
To get stronger mentally: I need to do what is best for me. I can't do what everyone else expects me to do, including this crappy job.
Thursday, February 19, 2015
No Excuses!!!
Okay I officially have no excuses for not losing weight. I got a FitBit for Vday and it keeps track of my steps, calories, etc. I have Maggie to walk, a gym membership, I'm enrolled in the Biggest Loser contest at work.
I hope very much that I can lose 20 lbs by June. Please Lord give me the strength and perseverance to do so.
I hope very much that I can lose 20 lbs by June. Please Lord give me the strength and perseverance to do so.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Baby Steps - Weekly Challenge #1 and #2
Ok so I've pretty much got through my first week back at work. I only had couple of slip-ups. Here are the little changes that I am trying to make. I think gradual change is the only way that I'm going to be able to get anywhere.
Jan 4-10
Do not eat bread (no buns, cookies, or baked items with flour)
Do not drink alcohol Sunday - Thursday
Log all meals into my Fitness Pal (including weekends)
Yesterday was my anniversary. This weekend is going to be hard but I'm determined to log all meals and drinks no matter how bad. And stay away from bread!
Jan 11-17
Next week I will add the following:
I will walk 30 minutes everyday somehow (10 mins here and 10 mins there)
I will eat all meals and snacks undistracted. I need to sit down and concentrate on what I am putting in my mouth. Be in the moment.
Jan 4-10
Do not eat bread (no buns, cookies, or baked items with flour)
Do not drink alcohol Sunday - Thursday
Log all meals into my Fitness Pal (including weekends)
Yesterday was my anniversary. This weekend is going to be hard but I'm determined to log all meals and drinks no matter how bad. And stay away from bread!
Jan 11-17
Next week I will add the following:
I will walk 30 minutes everyday somehow (10 mins here and 10 mins there)
I will eat all meals and snacks undistracted. I need to sit down and concentrate on what I am putting in my mouth. Be in the moment.
Attitude Adjustment
I am so angry all of the time. I know that life isn't fair but why is it so good for some people rather than others. Why do I have to work my ass off for everything - while others just do what they want? I don't understand. I feel like a kind, just, person. I am very generous compared to many people. Yet I can't get ahead at all. It's always something. I'll never be a teacher because I don't have the time or the resources to do it. But here is a quote that might help me change my perspective.
The Greek philosopher Epictetus said it beautifully more than 2,000 years ago: "People are disturbed, not by things (that happen to them), but by the principles and opinions which they form concerning (those) things. When we are hindered, or disturbed, or grieved, let us never attribute it to others, but to ourselves; that is, to our own principles and opinions."
I really need to become more positive - find the good in everything. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I need to stop cursing my Creator for all my problems. The reason that bad things happen is because they just do - to everybody. So I need to focus on how to overcome them when they do happen. I've got to stop flying off the handle at everything. This is much easier said than done.
The Greek philosopher Epictetus said it beautifully more than 2,000 years ago: "People are disturbed, not by things (that happen to them), but by the principles and opinions which they form concerning (those) things. When we are hindered, or disturbed, or grieved, let us never attribute it to others, but to ourselves; that is, to our own principles and opinions."
I really need to become more positive - find the good in everything. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I need to stop cursing my Creator for all my problems. The reason that bad things happen is because they just do - to everybody. So I need to focus on how to overcome them when they do happen. I've got to stop flying off the handle at everything. This is much easier said than done.
Weekly Challenge #3
I've joined the weight loss challenge group at work. We have Wednesday weigh-ins and last week, I lost 4 lbs. Today is weigh-in. I hope I've at least lost a pound. I don't know though. After the Miranda Lambert concert last week, I pretty much blew it. I was hungover for 3 days and pretty much ate everything in sight. Oh well. On a positive note, I went to Zumba last night and according to MyFitnessPal, I burned 770 calories. That's like a pizza! So my weekly challenge is...
Attend 3 exercise classes.
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Hamster Wheel
I posted this 2 years ago. We are now here in 2015 and I don't see any results. In fact, I've gained 15 lbs. But I would like to attempt this again.
Okay D-day is approximately 240 days from now. I may have miscounted but whatever is uncomfortably close. I'll be 40 on the 7th day of October in year of 2013. Since I've gain about 50 lbs of weight since I was 30, it seems only fitting that I lose 40 of it by the time I'm 40. Or I do the opposite, gain 60 lbs before I'm 50. The second choice is much scarier yet probably easier for me. So today, like many other days in the past, I'm going to start a new diet. Pardon me, a new way of life! Anyways, here is yet another attempt to lose weight and change my life.
I hope this year, 2013, will be the big year of positive transformation for me. The last 5 years of my life have been pretty daggum horrible to say the least. But I'm feeling my sense of hope renew. I'm only one-half of a class away from my BA. We are in a much smaller house with a much smaller mortgage payment. I can talk about losing my dog without crying. I'm slowly paying off our debts. And I've kept our cable and wireless turned on for 3 consecutive months. These are may seem like little achievements but they are huge to me. I'm slowly learning to celebrate small victories.
I've lowered my expectations immensely. I've kept them at the bottom so long that they are finally growing roots. That's a good thing. Lowered, firmly rooted, expectations counterweights my unrealistic, lofty, ambitions. I am no longer frustrated that I'm not a famous celebrated, screenwriter, author, political analyst etc. I given up that I will always have to work very hard to make it ahead. I will probably never have enough money and I may always be in debt. I hope not but I'll be okay either way.
So I'm turning my focus to my weight. It is something that I can control. I've let outside events and other people's schedules and opinions keep me from exercise and eating healthy. I've blame them all and the stress from it for why I'm overweight. But I've got to face the fact, that many folks have gone through terrible events, worse than mine, and they haven't let themselves go to pot. As of today, I still have a wonderful husband, two beautiful kids, a roof over my head, and a job. I've got plenty of support but no resolve. My new mantra is - I can handle this. I won't let it handle me.
So no more excuses, no more victim attitude. No more eating a loaf of garlic bread and drinking a bottle of Malbec to celebrate the fact that I got through the day. No more downing a box of cheez-its and a six pack of beer to ease my anger at traffic. No more smoking cigarettes and crying in Rum and Coke when things don't work out they way I expect them to or when somebody's mean to me.
I'm going to document my new approach daily in hopes to help someone in my situation. Even if I help one person, that's huge.
Okay D-day is approximately 240 days from now. I may have miscounted but whatever is uncomfortably close. I'll be 40 on the 7th day of October in year of 2013. Since I've gain about 50 lbs of weight since I was 30, it seems only fitting that I lose 40 of it by the time I'm 40. Or I do the opposite, gain 60 lbs before I'm 50. The second choice is much scarier yet probably easier for me. So today, like many other days in the past, I'm going to start a new diet. Pardon me, a new way of life! Anyways, here is yet another attempt to lose weight and change my life.
I hope this year, 2013, will be the big year of positive transformation for me. The last 5 years of my life have been pretty daggum horrible to say the least. But I'm feeling my sense of hope renew. I'm only one-half of a class away from my BA. We are in a much smaller house with a much smaller mortgage payment. I can talk about losing my dog without crying. I'm slowly paying off our debts. And I've kept our cable and wireless turned on for 3 consecutive months. These are may seem like little achievements but they are huge to me. I'm slowly learning to celebrate small victories.
I've lowered my expectations immensely. I've kept them at the bottom so long that they are finally growing roots. That's a good thing. Lowered, firmly rooted, expectations counterweights my unrealistic, lofty, ambitions. I am no longer frustrated that I'm not a famous celebrated, screenwriter, author, political analyst etc. I given up that I will always have to work very hard to make it ahead. I will probably never have enough money and I may always be in debt. I hope not but I'll be okay either way.
So I'm turning my focus to my weight. It is something that I can control. I've let outside events and other people's schedules and opinions keep me from exercise and eating healthy. I've blame them all and the stress from it for why I'm overweight. But I've got to face the fact, that many folks have gone through terrible events, worse than mine, and they haven't let themselves go to pot. As of today, I still have a wonderful husband, two beautiful kids, a roof over my head, and a job. I've got plenty of support but no resolve. My new mantra is - I can handle this. I won't let it handle me.
So no more excuses, no more victim attitude. No more eating a loaf of garlic bread and drinking a bottle of Malbec to celebrate the fact that I got through the day. No more downing a box of cheez-its and a six pack of beer to ease my anger at traffic. No more smoking cigarettes and crying in Rum and Coke when things don't work out they way I expect them to or when somebody's mean to me.
I'm going to document my new approach daily in hopes to help someone in my situation. Even if I help one person, that's huge.
Friday, January 2, 2015
Overhaul 2015
I've got to stop the mindset of "all or nothing". Especially when it comes to my body and losing weight. Every weekend, I think "I'll start my diet on Monday" so I binge. Instead, I should just think-I'll have this doughnut but that is my one slip today. I am going to try to start the 17 day diet again today. I think that I'll be okay and if I slip up, I won't throw in the towel and binge. I'll try to get back on track the very next minute. Because this other mindset is costing me dearly in the gaining weight department. I'm at 195 and I've got 200 in my scopes. I've got to change the way that I think about food and eating. My grandmother enjoyed cooking but she cooked for others. She didn't eat huge portions and I so need to do that. In fact Rob Brezny's post said it best
The average serving of pasta on a typical American's plate is almost 480 percent bigger than what's recommended as a healthy portion. So says a research paper titled "The Contribution of Expanding Portion Sizes to the U.S. Obesity Epidemic," by Lisa R. Young and Marion Nestle. Muffins are 333 percent larger than they need to be, the authors say, and steaks are 224 percent excessive. Don't get caught up in this trend, Libra. Get what you need, but not way, way more than what you need. For that matter, be judicious in your approach to all of life's necessities. The coming phase is a time when you will thrive by applying the Goldilocks principle: neither too much nor too little, but just right.
Another good quote: One old wive's test: If you're not hungry enough to eat an apple, then you're not hungry Food is a costly antidepressant.
Prayer for Today:
Dear Lord, if my life isn't going to be easy, then please give me the strength to handle it. That means please help me to become healthy and strong. Please help with perseverance and consistency. Help me not to fall back into my old ways but stick to my new ones." I feel like this is a fairly humble prayer. I'm not asking for money or luck, just strength to change my habits that are giving me bad luck.
The average serving of pasta on a typical American's plate is almost 480 percent bigger than what's recommended as a healthy portion. So says a research paper titled "The Contribution of Expanding Portion Sizes to the U.S. Obesity Epidemic," by Lisa R. Young and Marion Nestle. Muffins are 333 percent larger than they need to be, the authors say, and steaks are 224 percent excessive. Don't get caught up in this trend, Libra. Get what you need, but not way, way more than what you need. For that matter, be judicious in your approach to all of life's necessities. The coming phase is a time when you will thrive by applying the Goldilocks principle: neither too much nor too little, but just right.
Another good quote: One old wive's test: If you're not hungry enough to eat an apple, then you're not hungry Food is a costly antidepressant.
Prayer for Today:
Dear Lord, if my life isn't going to be easy, then please give me the strength to handle it. That means please help me to become healthy and strong. Please help with perseverance and consistency. Help me not to fall back into my old ways but stick to my new ones." I feel like this is a fairly humble prayer. I'm not asking for money or luck, just strength to change my habits that are giving me bad luck.
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